No matter what

No matter what I do, no matter what I try, I can’t escape the anxiety and depression.

Its irrational.

Its frustrating.

Alcohol free, anti-depressants, counselling, meditation, exercise.

None of it has worked for more than a few weeks.

More people are worse off than I am.

But here I am.

Scared I’m getting very close to the place I was, mentally, 20 years ago.

The Tipping Point – Happily Tipsy to Word Slurring Drunk

79 Days Alcohol Free

When the tipping point happens. The other person has gone from being happily tipsy to word slurring drunk. The aggression is creeping in. Snide comments. The atmosphere is getting toxic.

You know this is just going to get worse.

There is no real escape because they will creat an argument out of nothing and follow you around the house.

So, you sit in that toxic atmosphere waiting for the “blow up”.

I don’t want to tell others how to live. Its up to them if they drink or not. But I also don’t want to be in this sort of environment.

The stress and anxiety hit levels that just aren’t healthy.

I can’t control them and their actions. I can have honest and open conversations with them when they’re sober. But they are soon forgotten when the drinking starts again.

The action is on me. I just don’t know what to do about it yet.