Be Kinder To Yourself

92 Days Alcohol Free

This morning I was reading The Kindness Method by Shahroo Izadi, I’ve mentioned the book several times recently.

This line really stood out to me:

Expect it to be hard.  You knew it would be a struggle to change and you've voluntarily decided to do it anyway.  Shahroo Izadi

The idea is to prepare mentally in advance of those hard times. Have a plan in place for when they come.

I did struggle with the temptation to have a few beers on a Friday night after work – something I’d been doing for 28 years. It was a deeply embedded behaviour. My plan in this case was very simple, but effective. Buy alcohol free alternatives.

The plan doesn’t have to be grand or mind blowing.

Positive Change

As the title of the book suggests, its about changing habits in a kinder way.

I’ve spent years trying to change things I thought were wrong with me. Always falling back in to the bad habits or behaviours I was trying to change.

I’ve often found myself thinking “you’re fat, pathetic” and tried to use that as the base for change. Now I am trying to flip that thought to “what caused the weight gain?”. What is the main habit? Now I am looking at the behaviour itself, not beating myself up.

Rather than look at my habits as failings, character flaws, I am looking back at how they formed. They all served a purpose at some point – grabbing sugary foods was comforting, for example. Once I have that in mind, I can ask if they’re still serving their purpose. Is the sugary food still comforting?

Once I have answered that question I can decide what change, if any, I need to make.

What can I lose by trying this approach? The alternative, negative, beat myself up method wasn’t working.

Thats just a small part of the approach suggested in the book. For a better crash course in Shahroo’s approach I recommend Episode 28 of the OYNB podcast she appears on.