Choosing Stress

134 days alcohol free

Mega stress at work. If it could go wrong, it has. The usual covid stuff too.

Not once have I thought I need a drink.

Being alcohol free has allowed the mental space to explore other ways of dealing with stress. Allowed “extra” time in my day to meditate, exercise, read, sleep etc.

Its also given me the clarity to realise that I’ve been through worse. Also I choose to do this. I choose the pressure and stress.

When I was drinking I’d whinge and moan about it. Not realising the alcohol wasn’t helping and that its all of my own choosing.

I now ask myself if I’m okay with the choice. At the moment I am. There may come a day when I’m not. So grateful to be able to choose. The memories are still fresh from when I wasn’t so fortunate – that stress was so much worse, to the point where I actually believed my only choice was to attempt suicide.

Not So Baby Yoda (Sober Yoda)

Day 77 Alcohol Free

There has been an upgrade to the morning writing gear. Grogu socks and dressing gown….Baby Yoda for the win.

Not so Baby Yoda

Disconnected

Christmas day was weird, for a couple of reasons.

I Stayed alcohol free, but had a couple of moment where I was drawn the the bubbles. But simply looked ahead to what that would feel like in the morning and that was enough to stop me.

The other reason it was weird was because I felt disconnected from those around me. I felt like the odd one out.

It was hard to have conversations with people who were half or fully drunk. It was a lonely experience if I’m honest.

I did question staying sober was worth it. Then I saw something on FB a friend posted (below).

FB POST

Once I saw that, I knew not drinking and feeling a little disconnected was worth it.

At least I was here, with my people, having at least some conversation. I wasn’t in bed, or being sick or regretting having drunk too much.

I Hope you all had a great day – or are still having a great day (wobbly wobbly timey wimey time zones and all).